You Make Me Red
by SomeKindOfRomance
Summary: [ONESHOT SLASH SxK] random.. basically our favorite couple try to outdo eachother, go off on a tangent, and attempt to embarrass the hell out of eachother. This is a pointless oneshot... for your amusement..


**random SxK.. basically they try to outdo eachother, go off on a tangent, and attempt to embarrass the hell out of eachother. This is a pointless oneshot... for your amusement.. hopefully you find it amusing. I have a weird sense of humor. I find things like the word 'start,' funny.. Just say it over and over again.. start start start start.. **

**You Make Me Red**

"What's that on your face?" Stan asked as we were walking to our respective lectures.

"I shaved today, thanks for pointing it out."

"You don't have any facial hair to shave."

I pushed Stan at this comment. He was right, I had absolutely no facial hair. Bebe Stevens was endowed with more facial hair than I was. Oh how I envied her.

"Don't worry Kyle, once you go through puberty, you'll grow facial hair."

I cocked an eyebrow at this comment. "Uh, I'm 19, and obviously I've gone through puberty since I'm a tad bit bigger than you." He knew what I meant. I was the more blessed of the both of us.. in down there parts anyways.

"You know that's not true," Stan argued. "You're Jewish so yours is manipulated to look bigger."

"Stan.. you are so cute when you're in denial." He pushed me up against a tree and gave me a few soft kisses on the neck. He pulled away within seconds.

"Well I'll give you that.. you are a tiny bit... larger than I am.. but i'm better with my mouth." He looked at me with an extremely lopsided smile.

"Bullshit Stan!" I grabbed his collar in frustration. "How would you know anyways? Do you suck yourself off?"

He looked at me with a smug expression. "No, but I suck you off, and you seem to like it when I do."

"Well you seem to like it when I do that to you too!"

"I get the job done faster.."

"But.."

"You're either a premature ejaculator," he paused for dramatic effect, "or i'm pretty damn good."

"I'll take the latter."

Stan giggled uncontrollably. "I love how your face gets red everytime I embarrass you." I stopped walking.

"So you embarrass me on purpose huh?"

He coughed a little and started to walk a bit faster. I walked his pace to keep up with him.

"You know, you don't have to embarrass me to get me red in the face, dumbass." He looked at me questioningly. "If you'd just let me keep the damn lights on you'd be able to see that I get red enough when we're.." I knudged him in the side as some fellow students walked by.. "you know."

Stan scoffed. "Lights on during sex is for old people."

"Since when?" I could feel my blood pressure rise. "That makes no fucking sense. I know plenty of people who have sex with the lights on, and they're not old."

"Name them." I really didn't see any point in this exercise. It was obvious that he was hell bent on embarassing me and having sex in the dark. How the hell did we get on the topic of sex with or without the lights on anyways? I tried to back track the conversation. My memory was completely shot.

"You know what Stan? I like it when you get red in the face, yet I don't embarrass you in public."

"I'm not embarrassing you.. It's all out of love." He tapped the side of my face playfully.

"Stan you wouldn't know what it's like to be embarrassed in front of masses of people, because it's never been done to you!" We were now in the quad of the college campus and people were staring as a result of my raised voice. Red started to creep up on Stan's cheeks. "Oh are we a wittle embawwassed?" I sneered.

"No," he said confidently. His complexion returned to a normal color. He started to walk faster to get away from me. I caught the back of his sweatshirt before he could go any farther.

"Stan this is really stupid."

"Yea, well you started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not! You made fun of the fact that I have no facial hair."

"YOU DON'T HAVE FACIAL HAIR!" People were now laughing at us. I could feel my face getting so red. I looked at him calmly.

"Ok Stan.. I see the way it's gonna be. I'm just letting you know, that i'm game."

"Huh?"

I looked down at his break-away sweat pants with the snap buttons. I remembered what underwear he decided to wear today. Evil, evil thoughts crossed my revenge desiring mind. Stan caught me staring and came up with a smart ass quip.

"You can stare all day but it's not gonna make my pants come off lover boy."

"Oh?" I giggled demonically as I reached down and tore off his pants like a bullfighter waving the red flag away from a bull.

"HOLY SHIT DUDE!" Stan screamed. The people in the quad were now in hysterics. Stan was wearing his tighty whities that had turned a nice shade of pink in the washing machine. His face immediately turned the same shade as his underwear. He looked so cute.

"You look soooo cute Stan." He looked at me, completely pissed off. I instantly felt bad so I took off my coat and let him wrap it around his pantsless body. We walked back to the dorms in silence so that he could wear off his embarrassment. It was at least five minutes before he actually spoke to me.

"You know, I was thinking..."

"Mm?" I asked as I tried to tame a wild curl.

"The lights... maybe we should keep them on."

"Oh?" I walked over to him, a bit suspicious.

"I guess that's the only way i'm gonna get to see you so red..."

"What.. you mean no more embarrassment?"

"Something like that."

I kissed Stan happily. "Thanks baby." We both got up, nerves settled, ready to go to class.. a little bit late. As we were walking out on the quad I heard people laughing hysterically. Stan was laughing as well. "What?" I asked him. He didn't speak until we got into the buildings of our respected classes.

"You've got some bird shit in your hair."

"You said you wouldn't-"

"I didn't do a damn thing," he giggled. "I guess it's just karma's way of paying you back for pantsing me." He sat outside the bathroom on a bench as I went in to get the crap out of my hair. After two minutes of scrubbing with handsoap, I emerged, still very red in the face. Stan decided to laugh at me and my misfortune. Had he been nice, I would have told him about the gum on the ass of his pants.. but instead I waited to hear the laughs of his fellow classmates as he entered the lecture hall twenty-five minutes late.

end.


End file.
